Life Narratives

I slept well last night. Woke up only once for the bathroom and fell right back to sleep.

When I came downstairs this morning, the digital thermometer read 27 degrees Fahrenheit. The ground had a hard frost when I took my dog outside.

As I made my Dad’s coffee and mine, I knew my dog and I would walk after teaching school. The local morning news station reported it would be in the 40’s this afternoon. A much warmer time to go.

My morning at home before going to work was peaceful and relaxing. I did my weekly weigh in and was surprised to see I had lost 4 pounds. Next I prepared a healthy breakfast and packed a good lunch. At the kitchen table I sat alone in prayer and silently read my manifestation list from my pocket notebook. As the kitchen clock passed by, I moved along with my shower and got dressed. It felt so good to really look at myself again in the mirror. My songs and smile returned, which had been missing for weeks.

I am fortunate to have only a 7-8 minute drive to school. The local car radio station played older country songs. Once again, I smiled as I glanced across the frosty sun-beamed field. I told myself, it is going to be a good day.

The school day went well instructing high school English. I enjoyed working with students on their writing and reading. English has always been my favorite and best subject. I also needed the social interaction throughout my day of visiting with other teachers. The kindness and simple questions like, “How is Your Day Going?”–reassured me that I am in the right place.

When arriving home, I was greeted by my favorite companion, my dog. He then ate his dinner of the kibbles that were scattered across the kitchen floor. I made a cup of coffee from my Keurig and it tasted better than my morning coffee from the coffee pot. My dad and I visited about our day. He had a good day to by: resting, doing puzzles, reading, making his breakfast and lunch, and caring for the dog. His health has improved from a few months ago and he is able to do more for himself and our home. We are grateful for each day together.

This blog may appear to be of the mundane daily tasks; however, as I grow older I long for more days like today. Where I live in each moment and appreciate the simple joys of life. Thank you God, my close friends and family for encouraging and supporting me.

11/13/2024 Jennifer S. Churchill

My dog is happy leaning his front legs over the back of the couch.

He looks out the window to the main road and smiles at the sunshine.

We just returned from him getting his nails cut and a good brush from our local groomer, Renee, at Paw Prints.

Saturday I treated myself at the Element’s Day Spa for my own pampering with an eyebrow wax, haircut and pedicure.

It is good to smile too as I sip my Tangerine Yogi hot tea in my, “Life is Good” mug with the message, “Do what you like. Like what you do.”

The flame of my Yankee Candle dances next to my laptop as I freewrite this blog. Perhaps I will play some music soon and slow dance in my kitchen.

Today is a cooler and breezy Autumn day. My Dad drove himself earlier this morning to his barber. She told him there were snow flurries for about five minutes in Lowville. While he enjoyed some time alone, my dog and I went for a walk in the village of Croghan. It was a winter coat, hat and gloves kind of stroll.

As my dog settles down for a nap on the couch, I feel peace and comfort in our warm home. He reminds me to care for myself better. Quiet moments with reflections. I appreciate him because he always senses when I need him closer with more cuddles on my lap and gazes into my soul.

This period in my life I honor the people whom I am close with. It is a slower paced time for reflecting, showing daily gratitude, growing and continued healing.

Tonight my Dad and I will talk and share stories over the dinner table with stuffed shells I prepared the other day. The tomato sauce is homemade from when Dad and I canned this past summer.

The evenings become dark now by five o’clock. I have accepted going to bed earlier. My longer nights of sleep– invite more time to dream again. I pray for others and myself as I fall asleep and when I wake to a new day.

Blessings my friends and family!

11/12/2024–Jennifer S. Churchill

10/22/2024–Jennifer Churchill

Our walls were freshly painted over in our old home.

There is new light, color and energy.

We are decorating more simple to free up the old clutter.

In the evenings when work, appointments and chores are finished

I have a special tree I look at through my office window.

This Autumn I find peace gazing out past my wooden walls at the orange and yellow maple leaves.

Someday I may put a wall up in my small backyard

for my dog to run around freely.

It does not concern me to build walls for privacy from my neighbors.

Some people put walls around themselves to prevent pain, hurt and abuse.

Boundaries are important.

However, cutting off and putting up walls between some friends, family and loved ones can often be worked out with forgiveness and open communication.

Walls have been built to protect cities, animals, properties and people.

When I backpacked through Europe in college, I purchased a small piece of the Berlin Wall as a souvenir.

There was a language barrier between some of the German people and my American girlfriends I travelled with.

We asked, “Where can we find remains of the wall?”

The German people joyfully shouted and waved their hands,

“The wall is down.”

We all smiled for their new freedoms and reuniting with families.

As I conclude this blog, I pray to tear down any walls I put up inside and reach: true happiness, peace and love for others and myself.

10/13/2024–Jennifer S. Churchill

Today after worship and the service, a new friend from Abundant Life Fellowship in Boonville asked if there was anything she could pray for me.

Tears in the corners of my eyes wanted to pour out along with feelings and words I have been keeping inside. Instead I held back and quietly said yes, please pray for me.

We faced one another, held hands, I closed my eyes and she lifted me up in prayer. She reminded me to keep smiling and writing to help others. Thank you, my friend. I asked God this morning for a word to open and guide my heart. “Prayer”

Here I pray for all of us.

May we never feel alone, jealous, anxious and judgmental. Everyone has highs and lows and we are more similar than different. Yet, sometimes we struggle to ask God for help. We try and take care of our own problems. Remember God is always there for us in the light and the darkness.

Our minds, bodies, and souls get weary and lost with: illnesses, poverty, death, failures, addictions, traumas, and losses. We try to forgive and forget and push ahead. Alone we will not grow, change and succeed. We need helping hands and the love of our Almighty Father.

The Lord’s hands work to lift us up and make us arise everyday with grateful hearts. We celebrate his miracles with: good health, births, marriages, relationships, friendships, new careers, homes, safe communities, education, churches, pets and many more promising gifts.

He teaches us to learn from his son, Jesus, and one another. Trust, love, forgiveness, growth, honor and peace await us on our life journeys. As we prepare to enter eternal life in heaven.

Take the time everyday to ask God to hear your prayers and the prayers of others.

Be the guiding light and ask someone, “May I Pray With You, and For You.”

October 10,2024–Jennifer Churchill

With our mornings being darker and cooler –we slept in until 7a.m.

It is rare for my Dad, dog and I to wake up at this time.

We all needed the extra rest.

The past few mornings have been in the upper 30’s and low 40’s.

We have had some rain perhaps from Hurricane Helene and Milton.

We pray for our friends, family and those we do not know in the southeastern parts of the United States.

Some people have lost: loved ones, their homes, businesses, pets and so much more.

While others mourn their losses and plan to rebuild their lives,

we have grown and are blessed to have work done on our old home.

I am grateful for the back porch renovation and the painters painting the inside of our home.

We love our old homestead; however, change is good too.

It takes time, hard work, saving up and budgeting for home improvements.

We try and become closer during these changes and communicate better with our thankfulness to our family, friends and one another.

As I drive back and forth to run errands and pick-up my dog from day boarding at the vets–God gives me opportunities to dream and reflect.

Time passes so quickly. Being my Dad’s caregiver and a loving mother to my college son have both taught me to live and appreciate each day.

Our pace is slower together because although my Dad does his best, he is limited in his physical activities.

We get by with God’s grace and love.

My mind and body are screaming to share more on the page.

I think it is best to freewrite in my personal journals and keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Nothing wrong–just need to get out of my head and read on the written pages.

Stay safe and respect one another and yourself.

Rest when needed.

It has taken me years to speak up and stand up for myself.

Some family members, so-called friends, crushes, boyfriends and a husband expect me to stay submissive.

They have judged my mental, physical health, emotional and spirituality being when I speak openly.

Hand gestures of a stop sign are used repeatedly to make me be quiet , so they can dominant the conversations.

Raised voices and cutting me off to silence me.

Being told , “you are fat, lazy, a bad wife and mother.”

Everything about you is criticized except your long hair.

Taking your money, food, gifts, love and soul.

Lying to me, hiding things and people, and verbal threats.

Cheating and leading me on to boost their own egos and play the dating games.

Pretending to be the “Good Guy” while flirting with other women –right in front of me.

I have never truly experienced love from a man.

Maybe I never will.

I am happy being with my friends and family–and alone.

Close girlfriends tell me he is out there.

I pray we will cross paths someday.

For now, I am more selective who I share my love and goodness with.

This time I will walk away if I am not honored and respected.

Distance and boundaries are also important for me with some family, friends, strangers, and co-workers.

I share some of my stories and experiences to lift up others and encourage them to stand up for themselves. These people are my past and I move on to others whom will treat me well.

Lovely end of August day–sunny and in the low 70’s. The mornings and evenings are cooler as we prepare for the Harvest/Autumn season to arrive.

The maples are starting to change from: green to yellows, oranges and reds. When my dog and I walk in the village of Croghan, there are places where we step through the fallen leaves. The sounds of the leaves bring me back to my childhood and I smile.

Everything is early this summer–the leaves, flowers, apples, pumpkins, fruits, corn, vegetables and cuttings of hay. There has been massive flooding in Lewis County and neighboring counties. People have worked hard to repair bridges, roads, homes, restaurants, stores and farms. I love living here because individuals take care of one another.

I am grateful my father’s health is improving each day. We talk more and listen to one another’s stories. Together we lend a helping hand. There is a good balance of time together, alone with friends and family. Next week I am looking forward to returning to substitute teaching at Beaver River Central School District.

As I grow older, the days pass by more quickly. I cherish my friends, family and talking with most strangers.

Time and distance with honest and compassionate words from me are healing a friendship that was broken over a month ago. My close girlfriends and I stay close. My sister and brother-in-law are visiting from Colorado next weekend and for the week. My son will be coming home on the weekends from college in Syracuse. His girlfriend will share a meal with us. My heart is singing knowing our home will be full again.

A–Awesome God, Family, and Friends.

B–Believe each day is a gift and we can do better each waking day.

C–Continue to care and love others, this country, mother earth and animals.

D–Deliver flowers, homecooked food, crafted gifts and hand-written cards.

E–Eager to learn more through reading, teaching, writing and listening to others share their stories and testimonies.

F–Forgive but not forget wrongdoings and mistreatment to help heal.

G–Give my love to God and those who are respectful and honor others and myself.

H–Help people in good and bad times.

I–Imagine a world that is peaceful and kind.

J–Justify your thoughts, actions and feelings.

K–Kiss your pets and companion everyday.

L–Laugh when life is fun and difficult.

M–Make someone’s day with a smile, inspirational word, and hug.

N–Never ignore an opportunity to grow, travel, change and be the first to say you are sorry.

O–Organize your days; however, be flexible to adjust your schedule when a calling arises.

P–Promise to pray for all people and yourself.

Q–Quietly walk on this earth and give back to the next generation.

R–Rest when needed and not feel guilty.

S–Sing sweet songs in the mirror when you awake, in your car, home, work community and church.

T–Take time for others and yourself everyday.

U–Understand we are all the same and our stories and experiences are interwoven.

V–Victory is the day when we re-unite with our loved one’s in heaven and meet God and Jesus.

W–Wish to remember and celebrate the joyful times throughout our whole life span.

X–X-ray the good parts of our: minds, bodies, emotions and spirits.

Y–Yield to hate, judgement, fear, anxiety, depression, and sin.

Z–Zealous of your values and beliefs.

8/13/2024

As I sit on my front porch…watching the traffic pass by, sucking on a raspberry tootsie pop, playing Christian Contemporary music on Pandora–I smile. Friends wave from their trucks and walkers say, “hello.” I am at peace and feel truly happy.

I am grateful to live in a safe community. Although I am not related to anyone besides my dad and son living in Croghan. My days of feeling isolated no longer exist. I am not part of a big family or related to others like most people living in Lewis County. Therefore, I go most places alone.

My confidence and faith grow more each day. I talk with almost everyone I meet. My son laughs at me and asks me why I strike up conversations with complete strangers. He is friendly and social; however, more reserved like his father. As he grew up in two different homes, I feel he adjusted well and shares good characteristics and values from both his father and myself.

I love hearing people share their stories. We learn so much when we take the time and really listen to one another. Today I enjoyed visiting with a close girlfriend on the phone for an hour. She lives in Delaware. Our lives like many are good, but busy. I cherish my close girlfriends from grade school, college and present. We lift one another up. Listen. Give helpful advice. Laugh. Dream. Pray. Cry. Love. There is no competition, envy or jealously. We honor our friendships and praise each other.

I try and have close male friendships. They get messy because when we get to know one another better the other person or myself usually develop romantic feelings. One-sided. Sure people may argue men and women can be just friends. I wish this was the case for me, but it has not happened in my life.

I appreciate and adore men. Although, in my current life I need to turn my attention on people who treat me well. I am tired of loss and being hurt. My circle of close friends are female and I need my sisters to help guide me when I get off track in life. Often their words, I have already told myself. Hearing their concerns spoken out loud over me– wake me up. They do not disappoint, hurt or leave me like some men.

Someday I will cross paths with my future husband to be. It will be a special gift from God that brings us together. We will honor, respect, love and cherish one another until death. I pray and others pray for this in my life. I keep my eyes open and have also learned to not be so giving with my heart unless the feelings are reciprocated.

It is now 7:34 and the sun is getting closer to setting. Our summer days are getting shorter. The evenings and early mornings are cooler. Autumn is approaching soon. The hummingbird comes in close to feed and keeps its energy to stay healthy and warm. The squirrels gather peanuts (that an older woman leaves on her morning walks) from the church lawn under the trees. A small flock of geese honk in a “V” as they pass over my home. The birds sing and talk to one another as they show us to nestle in for the night and sleep peacefully.

As my father’s health has improved and he is becoming more independent again. I have more time for myself. He also enjoys time alone or with his good friend. I am proud of my dad for his determination to fight and live through his setbacks in health. We are both more relaxed now and closer than ever. My dad sleeps more sound at night. Finally, I am sleeping better too. I long to dream more at night again because in my dreams I have visions and prophesize. My angels visit me and speak wisdom in my dreams. Facial images of old friends appear that I know I should reconnect with in hand-written cards.

“Day is done, gone the sun….” Remember you are never alone even if your mind tricks you and tells you , you have no one. Turn to God and pray. He is always there and knows our thoughts, hearts and prayers before we even speak. He loves you and there is always at least one person to call, text, visit or write too.

Keep the faith. Be the light and spread the light.

God gives us struggles to find our inner strength and faith in his love and the love of others.

Through different challenging times, episodes of loss, depression, trauma and abuse– God always pulls me through the storms.

He knows my heart, thoughts, prayers unspoken and spoken.

I sing, dance ,write, teach, pray, learn, grow, heal, cook, walk, smile, laugh, cry, travel and give more to others.

Everyday I grow closer to God and his son, Jesus.

Abundant Life Fellowship in Boonville is my refuge where I became born again.

I pray, sing, prophesize, teach, love, read scripture, worship, dream, weep, feel real joy, and build real friendships with others in my church family.

In the near future I will be water baptized and become a member of the church.

The church is growing and accepting.

We are abundant with people of all ages.

There are many children (our future generations) growing and learning in God’s love.

We love other churches and welcome the non-believers to come worship with us.

Life is good and messy.

We have all sinned, but can ask for his forgiveness and the forgiveness of others we have hurt along our life journey.

Each day we wake we have a new chance to be better than the person we were the day before.

Walking right with God brings me peace, true joy, and more love for Jesus Christ, for others and myself.

The anxiety, lack of confidence, fear, sadness lessen as I search my heart and let God lead my days.

My days are now on God’s Time and he always makes everything better.

Amen.