Life Narratives

We all see different signs in our daily lives. Some people may connect a loved one in heaven to a special and beautiful sighting of a: dragonfly, cardinal, robin, rainbow, sunset, night stars, flower and so on. We pause and think of them in heaven and may say a short prayer. These gifts from nature remind us to take a deep breathe and give thanks. We are truly blessed.

Others may see a sign in numbers, symbols, words, names, pictures, music, and whatever is important to us and others. People have many different beliefs based on their experiences, education and ancestry. One is not necessarily better than the other–just unique. We need to show honor and respect.

These sightings come quickly and we may not recognize them if we are not paying attention. Then a day or two in a row, the same cardinal may comeback and catch us off guard. We say hello or think, why am I seeing this sign more frequently.

I like to write down my sightings in journals. On the written page I see more clearly how my life connects to the dream and experience. Then I reflect in my writings how the signs have a deeper meaning to my past, present or future. Sometimes these are visions to share with my friends and family.

Be ready for the signs and never get to busy or out-of-balance to spot these beautiful signs.

This morning it felt good to sleep in to 6:30. I am more rested and have been in a better mood. My dog celebrated his 10th birthday. He was given plenty of love and a few extra treats. Even the vets sent us birthday wishes for a happy and healthy day.

I have been enjoying being on God’s time for awhile. Most often he controls my daily schedule. Thinking and feeling this way brings me comfort and peace. New friends, worship and participating in “finding your spiritual gifts” classes are helping me walk closer with Christ and others.

My longer drives to worship on Sundays, allow me to slowdown and enjoy the: homes, businesses, and scenery along the way. Often I take different routes to appreciate the changes. I pray over the people as I feel their prayers covering me.

After service this morning, I drive on a windy road and go slow to take in the beautiful orange, reds and yellow leaves on the trees. When I arrive at the State Park, I enjoy watching people hike to the waterfall, picnic, play with their children and grandchildren, and walk their dogs. We smile, say hello, help take pictures of one another.

Together we come together and accept our differences. However, we have more in common and feel good sharing nature.

After awhile I do make it home and appreciate the small (big) jobs my Dad completed while I was gone. Although I have made changes in my life the past couple of months, I feel God directed me and continues to lead me in his right journey.

Mornings when my dog and I go for walks in nature, we both are more relaxed and happy. I like people; however, sometimes I need to be alone in the outdoors. Taking a break from village walking brings me closer to God and Mother Earth.

If the sun is out, we always pause while I raise my right arm to give thanks and praise for the day and this beautiful place. Silent and spoken prayers are shared.

Together my dog and I take some old and new trails on each hike. I enjoy seeing the seasons change the landscape and waters. Depending on where and when we hike, we may see wildlife tracks and droppings. It is fun guessing what animals have also passed through. Occasionally, turtles may be sunbathing on a mossy log in the water. Frogs jump off the sides of shorelines into the ponds, as my dog goes to sniff them out. We sometimes spot small, stocked fish like trout, swimming near the piers.

Canadian geese and ducks swim away for us as we approach. Blue herons fly off of the marshy areas. Other birds give warning and sounds of joy. They do not seem to be bothered by our presence. We enjoy their company and move on until returning another day.

Most of our lives are extremely busy. We have some or all of the following to take responsibility for each day–marriages, relationships, families, caring for our aging parents, friends, church families, communities, pets, education, careers, appointments, shopping, cooking, chores and so on. Our schedules are often packed to the maximum. Often we put everyone else first, and neglect our own self-care.

Unfortunately, a life-changing experience or more, may be the only time when everything grabs our attention and makes us slowdown and re-evaluate our own priorities. We should continue to help others. However, if you are not putting your own needs first, you will not be a strong caregiver and provider to others.

We all struggle to find a balance. Be patient with yourself and search for your passions in life, new or old. These breaks in our hectic routines are needed to help us grow in our journeys.

Sunny with a breeze in the air as I write another blog. “Spring Break 1995 Radio” plays on Pandora from my iPhone. The songs are memories from high school and my undergraduate years. Fun and crazy times. My depression went in waves during these periods, as I did not take any medication or seek therapy. I fought to be my best: academically, socially and professionally in the workplace.

Today I met with my therapist. Pscychotherapy allows me to be honest and open about my life in private. Here I grow and do not face stigma. The professionals in mental health are educated and know to trust me when I am doing well or need some extra support. It has been over twenty years that I have taken responsibility for my depression and anxiety. Together I work closely with my doctors for medication and continue therapy. I have educated myself and found healthy coping strategies to deal with my trauma and PTSD. If I am feeling “off” I immediately contact my mental health providers.

Being in nature helps greatly with my depression and anxiety. My mood and energy level lift while relaxing me. We have beautiful trees surrounding our backyard and neighbor’s property. Maples, pines, blue spruce and others I cannot recall their names. The sun is moving in the west preparing for earlier sunsets. Cooler darker days are coming. The crickets are lively. The birds, squirrels and pigeons (from the barn behind our home) are not coming to the feeders and bird bath at this moment because I am in their circle. Pots of hens and chicks and coneflowers wait to planted this Autumn to return next year. Always work to be done inside and outside our home. I enjoy getting my hands into the dirt and on warmer days I love walking barefoot.

Have a peaceful evening and never be afraid to seek mental health for yourself or a loved one. We all face some degree of mental health in our life span. Get out and enjoy nature too.

Everyday I am greeted with smiles and conversations from old and new friends. I enjoy learning more about others to help myself grow and to share their stories to build images, themes and characters in my writing. Everyone has a story to tell whether: funny, tragic, sad, inspirational, informative, joyful and so on.

I love talking with people wherever I go. The gas station, the grocery store, the transfer station, the post office, appointments, shopping and so forth. My 18 year old son picks on me about always having to converse with– everyone I meet. He usually tries to hurry me a long or give an eye roll. Yes, I was a terrible eye roller at his age too. He is watching and learning from me by seeing the importance of taking the time for real conversations bothis positive.

Today is my first day of a more structured schedule where I research the writing market and write. My e-mails are piling up from publishing jobs awaiting me. Each day as a writer, I need to devote time to read these messages and see where I am being guided to explore.

Recently God spoke to me as I was crying hysterically while driving . He and my angels protected me as I stayed in control of driving alone to be in nature. The vision I had told me to give up my other passion of teaching and become a professional writer. I realize some of you may not be strong believers in Jesus Christ. That is your choice and I respect you. As for my life, my faith leads me through everything.

Good morning to sleep in until 5:15. The major stressors in my life are starting to diminish. Someday I will write about these events– when the time is right. I pray my experiences will help others get through similar struggles and find: hope, healing, courage and a better peace of mind.

My son is doing well settling into his freshman year at SUNY Environmental Science of Forestry connected with Syracuse University. Beautiful campus with students and professors from all over: New York State, the United States and the World. He will learn and grow from the best to be a better person and steward of our land. His current major is Environmental Engineering.

Today, my son returned back to college after visiting his first weekend home–Labor Day weekend. Now I am more accepting of him spending less time with me as he finds his journey into becoming: successful, happy, kind and well-balanced. I, myself, am also finding this inner peace and joy.

During his senior year, he helped remind me that he was trying to spend time with everyone. He has his Dad and their family. His girlfriend and their family. His friends. Football and Trap teams. My family and myself. It was and is a lot for an 18 year old to juggle. He is nailing it.

I am always communicating with my son. Did my best while he was growing up and during the times we were together. He picks on me when I send him long text messages. I laugh when he says and writes, “Mom, no one writes long text messages. Then I simply respond…Well, I am an English teacher, writer and your Mom. When I get excited and verbally share stories from my past, present and of my future to help him better understand me and himself; he smiles and laughs and tells me to get to the point. We then both laugh and the stories flow.

Often I tell him I am praying over him all of the time and so are others. He listens and when he is ready; he will seek God’s love.

Today is August 24th, 2023 and still Summer. The air and temperature feels cooler. The leaves on the maple trees are already changing red with some yellow mixed in with the fallen leaves on the ground. Apples are filling the trees and dropping. My Dad and I have spotted different crab, yellow and other red apples on our drives to his appointments and rides to get out of the house and talk and share stories.

The animals are preparing for an early Autumn too. The young does and their fawns from this year are moving around in the woods. I drive slowly down bumpy, dirt roads to hike alone or with my dog. Lately, the deer have not been spooked while I sit in my car and watch them pass gently and cautiously across the dirt road into the woods.

The bunnies have been around more in our backyard eating grass, clover and lettuce I drop for them under my raised beds. They are a good sign of hope and prosperity in life. It is more than financial wealth it is spiritual prosperity from God.

The birds are changing with the season of summer to Autumn. After lunch today, I spotted a male, yellow finch dead on the ground by the stepping stones near our bird feeders and bird bath. I questioned his death. Last week I heard and saw a small flock of geese honking and flying over our home–heading in the southern direction.

The hummingbirds are still around with the cooler temperatures to fuel up before they journey south. I almost composted my hanging flower plants because they are dying off and look terrible. However, some of their flowers are still hanging on and my Dad spotted the hummingbirds still coming around to suck the nectar out from them.

Most early mornings for me while some may call nights are when the sky and earth are still dark. I cautiously release part of my dog’s leash to look out for bunnies eating in the dim light. My dog having part beagle in him, usually smells the rabbits before I spot them. Then it is time to hold on tight so we both are not on the hunt or chase.

Autumn is my favorite season. Usually it is short like our Springs and Summers in Northern New York State. I do not mind our winters; however, six months of Winter is draining on our souls with the cold and especially the lack of sunlight.

Find your joy, happiness, peace, love and faith everyday in others and yourselves. Stay safe.

I have not been writing for at least two months. I thought for sure I would be more disciplined writing short blogs more often.

It has been a good winter. We did not get a lot of snow or have negative temperatures. Some places around us did get hit with four to five feet of snow during “the big blizzard.” There has been very little sunshine. Yesterday there was sun and some today. It motivates and makes us happy. There is hope for spring.

Thanksgiving was extra special. My Dad and I worked together in the kitchen to prepare our meal. It had a different feel. We were not rushed. My son joined us before Thanksgiving day and we enjoyed our meal. I did not want to torture him and make him eat three Thanksgiving meals in one day.

Christmas we were all blessed to give more from our hearts and wallets. Carson and I played Mary and Joseph in our church’s Christmas Eve service. It was a peaceful night and we enjoyed snacks at home with my Dad.

Carson and I celebrated birthdays this January. I turned 50 then Carson turned 18. We love extending the celebrations with friends and family. Homemade lasagna and garlic bread, take-out Chinese food, bakery brownies and cheesecake.

It has been good getting out for short walks with my dog in town. He pulls a lot, so walking on icy sidewalks can be challenging. However, we feel better when we get some exercise and fresh air. Perhaps I will get my snowshoes out sometime and take him with me.

Carson is hearing from colleges he applied to. We are happy for the new adventures and watching him grow into a fine young man.

Relieved to finally feel better and get my energy back after having the flu. It has been a hard winter for illnesses: COVID, RSV, flu, stomach bugs, and colds.

Get out, bundle up and stay healthy and happy.

This morning was our first official snowfall that stayed on the ground.

It was peaceful and a little slower walking to the post office mid-morning.

I have not written a blog in some time.

Substitute teaching picked up a lot and an amazing Varsity Football Season.

My son, a senior, ended his last game playing at the Syracuse Carrier Dome.

Our school’s football team hadn’t been there in almost 30 years.

Although we lost, we had the honor of making it that far.

We are so proud of the team and coaches.

I have enjoyed the close bond of the football family and Moms.

It was difficult watching my son get injured in the 3rd quarter and not finish.

He will be alright, and his knee will heal.

My son has also applied to some NYS colleges.

It’s exciting to be his Mom and see all of the opportunities ahead of him.

Looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family.