8/13/2024

As I sit on my front porch…watching the traffic pass by, sucking on a raspberry tootsie pop, playing Christian Contemporary music on Pandora–I smile. Friends wave from their trucks and walkers say, “hello.” I am at peace and feel truly happy.

I am grateful to live in a safe community. Although I am not related to anyone besides my dad and son living in Croghan. My days of feeling isolated no longer exist. I am not part of a big family or related to others like most people living in Lewis County. Therefore, I go most places alone.

My confidence and faith grow more each day. I talk with almost everyone I meet. My son laughs at me and asks me why I strike up conversations with complete strangers. He is friendly and social; however, more reserved like his father. As he grew up in two different homes, I feel he adjusted well and shares good characteristics and values from both his father and myself.

I love hearing people share their stories. We learn so much when we take the time and really listen to one another. Today I enjoyed visiting with a close girlfriend on the phone for an hour. She lives in Delaware. Our lives like many are good, but busy. I cherish my close girlfriends from grade school, college and present. We lift one another up. Listen. Give helpful advice. Laugh. Dream. Pray. Cry. Love. There is no competition, envy or jealously. We honor our friendships and praise each other.

I try and have close male friendships. They get messy because when we get to know one another better the other person or myself usually develop romantic feelings. One-sided. Sure people may argue men and women can be just friends. I wish this was the case for me, but it has not happened in my life.

I appreciate and adore men. Although, in my current life I need to turn my attention on people who treat me well. I am tired of loss and being hurt. My circle of close friends are female and I need my sisters to help guide me when I get off track in life. Often their words, I have already told myself. Hearing their concerns spoken out loud over me– wake me up. They do not disappoint, hurt or leave me like some men.

Someday I will cross paths with my future husband to be. It will be a special gift from God that brings us together. We will honor, respect, love and cherish one another until death. I pray and others pray for this in my life. I keep my eyes open and have also learned to not be so giving with my heart unless the feelings are reciprocated.

It is now 7:34 and the sun is getting closer to setting. Our summer days are getting shorter. The evenings and early mornings are cooler. Autumn is approaching soon. The hummingbird comes in close to feed and keeps its energy to stay healthy and warm. The squirrels gather peanuts (that an older woman leaves on her morning walks) from the church lawn under the trees. A small flock of geese honk in a “V” as they pass over my home. The birds sing and talk to one another as they show us to nestle in for the night and sleep peacefully.

As my father’s health has improved and he is becoming more independent again. I have more time for myself. He also enjoys time alone or with his good friend. I am proud of my dad for his determination to fight and live through his setbacks in health. We are both more relaxed now and closer than ever. My dad sleeps more sound at night. Finally, I am sleeping better too. I long to dream more at night again because in my dreams I have visions and prophesize. My angels visit me and speak wisdom in my dreams. Facial images of old friends appear that I know I should reconnect with in hand-written cards.

“Day is done, gone the sun….” Remember you are never alone even if your mind tricks you and tells you , you have no one. Turn to God and pray. He is always there and knows our thoughts, hearts and prayers before we even speak. He loves you and there is always at least one person to call, text, visit or write too.

Keep the faith. Be the light and spread the light.